We left port in the early evening - - in time to watch the sun set over the skyline of Miami. It was pretty. We headed to the lido deck for food and drinks and the kids loved eating while looking out the windows at the sea. The most repeated question of the cruise started there. “Is that deep water?” The same response, “Yes, it’s deep water.” Then there would be more excitement, “Is it DEEP DEEP water?” Yes would be the answer again. They wanted to know if there were sharks and octopus and whales in the ocean. We would respond with a yes.
That evening, we had our first meal during the early dining option for the cruise. We quickly learned that the fine china and the long service would not be doable for the boys. 
We scarfed down our first nice meal and went back to the cabin to watch movies.
Throughout the entire night, cruise goers would return to their cabins at all hours of the night – laughing and carrying on. Obviously, they were enjoying their first night on the “Fun Ship” and came back at all hours. We, of course, woke up too as they came home at 1am, 2am, 3am, etc. It was a restful first evening on the ship. Of course, the kids were exhausted when they woke up the first morning. To our surprise we awoke to rain on our first full-day on the cruise. Dreary rain was the forecast for the entire day. Lovely. 
We took the kids to Camp Carnival – the cruise line’s area for kids. They tell the folks that you can drop off the kids for a couple of hours at a time so you can enjoy the cruise. Well, we dropped them off (another line for drop off), received the phone so they could beep you if there was a problem, and left to the room to relax. Not even one hour went by when the happy ring tone loudly went off. I nervously answered the phone.
“Your son is hitting kids and that behavior is not tolerated.” So I head over to Camp Carnival where I witness 50 kids and three counselors. The great piece about this is that one counselor is checking in and checking out kids, one counselor is doing bathroom duty and the last one is trying to herd the kids into an activity.
Eban is crying saying he didn’t want to leave but the big boy kept stealing “his” fire truck. As I walked out with Eban, he told me the big kid (it’s the 2 to 5 year old room) kept stealing his truck so he’d ask the boy to return it as he wasn’t done playing with it. The big boy told him no so Eban gave him a right hook. Understandably, that choice wasn’t right, but I can understand his frustration level after witnessing the pure chaos of the underperforming staff.
Now, if Carnival Cruise lines knew half the boat would be kids with their families, why didn’t they adequately staff the camp rooms? Instead, they were able to adhere to other criteria as the ship’s home wasn’t U.S. They could adhere to other countries norms for childcare. This is something I didn’t know prior to going on a cruise. On this note, most of the staff were from other countries.
I loved the fact that so many countries were represented on the boat. Surprisingly, the U.S. probably had the fewest staff. I found out later that this is because they don’t need to pay U.S. wages or taxes if the boat’s charter is held in another country. Another interesting tidbit of info.
So the first full day, we spent in the room and walking around the interior of the boat as the rain prevented us from enjoying the other aspects of the boat. So the evening before we were to arrive to Cozumel, the festivities for other passengers occurred all evening. The yelling and the screaming of the guests could be heard at all hours of the night. Our cabin room was located close to an elevator where it would spit out the drunks who wobbled home loudly. I’d like to thank Carnival Cruise lines for this thoughtful gesture too.
So the morning that we arrive to Cozumel, I’m up at 6am with Jack who is cranky as all get out. The brown circles under my eyes are pronounced and he is inconsolable. If you’ve ever had a too-tired baby who is miserable, then you know the un-winning battle that ensued for the first hour of the morning. As I’m cradling him and trying to engage him with other things, the phone rings. This time it’s the cabin phone. I answer it. All I hear is a super-irritated woman’s voice.
“Shut that effing baby up.” She used the real word though.
I said exhausted, “Excuse me?”
She said, “Are you even trying to hold it? You are ruining my vacation.”
Deflated from the fight with Jack, which I was obviously losing, and tired from the lack of sleep and the overall feeling of being on a confined boat, I told her, “Yes, of course I’m trying to soothe him. You should see how tired I am too. I’m sorry. This cruise isn’t what I expected and I’m really trying to ease my son. I’m sorry.” Whatever I said, her response was clearly surprised as I guess she wanted to fight. I was apparently so tired and unwilling to be put on the defense that I just backed down. Therefore she became less erratic and a little bit more understanding by the time we ended our five minute conversation.
Of course, Tutu and Ryan wanted to know who called. As I told them about the warm greeting, both of them bristled with the thought of answering a call like that. I know how Ryan would have reacted so I guess it was a good thing that I answered. I prepped myself every night after that with jeans near the bed so I could easily escape the room with whichever kid was cranky in the morning. Every morning we had to implement the stated plan of escape with one of the cranky tots. Trust me when I say this wasn’t restful – WHATSOEVER. So after this little incident, I actually cried a couple of tired tears for my sad son and for the fact that I was ruining someone’s vacation.
I was ready to disembark the ship to visit Cozumel - - on another gray and rainy day.
Another line to disembark.
Another line to stop to get your photo taken (we didn’t stop with our drenched hair and our soaking kids).
Another line to wait for some merchant to give you a sticker to tell you where to buy jewelry.
Finally…off the boat!! We had to walk through a duty-free area of Americanized goods and over-priced snacks at the port of call in Cozumel. We found van after van of people wanting to take everyone on a pre-packaged tour to all the same destinations. We found a nice cabbie and told him to take us away. After we went a few blocks, we figured we’d go to the beach even though it was gray and drizzling. 
We chatted a bit more and somehow fire trucks came to be the topic of conversation. He told us that he was a volunteer fireman for the island and he was happy to show us the fire station. This was great news. The boys beamed as they saw the fire truck came into light. What was funny is that the island of Cozumel bought their fire truck from Fort Collins, Colorado. Small world!
We then headed over to the east side of the island. There are few beaches over there and one of my work study students recommended a place called Chen Rio. She said there’s a beach for the kids and fresh seafood that they go out and catch every morning.
As the cab dropped us off to the barren and desolate beach, we looked at the empty surroundings. PERFECT.
We waved goodbye and said we’d see him in four hours. As the boys played in the beach in the overcast sky, we saw only a fishing boat in the distance. 
That boat eventually came to shore close to us and we saw them bringing in the “fresh catch” of the day. 
It was great as I sat under a thatched roof hut and the boys frolicked in the waves. Jack didn’t swim but happily played with the sand. He watched as Eban peed in the ocean and then he wanted to pee in the ocean. 
This was the first time that Jack peed on command - - in the ocean in Cozumel. There’s hope for him yet to be potty-trained!
After two hours, some people started to show up. Not many, but a small handful. The workers also were busy in the small kitchen and came to us first and told us that we should get the party meal with the fresh catch…and then the rest we couldn’t understand. We just said yes. As the chips and spicy salsa arrived, we also had a guest next to our table. A yellow crab. I thought it was fake and wanted Eban to go grab it as it looked like a good toy. So when it scurried away into the hole in which it came, that was a shock. There’s a good video of us talking about it below.
The meal was my favorite of the trip. 
We had fresh red snapper (with crazy big, sharp teeth and Jack called him the monster), warm-water lobster, rice, avocado, homemade tortillas, shrimp and other items. I can’t tell you how much I loved it. I also can’t tell you how much it cost as I know it was a small fortune. But it was worth it for a small piece of pure happiness on the trip.
We left our little island utopia to return to the Carnival Liberty with 3,000 of our non-closest friends and to the one lady who said I was ruining her trip. Eban returned to camp and after thirty minutes promptly got kicked out of Camp Carnival for hitting and then excessive crying as he wouldn’t calm down after the camp counselors told him he had to go. We were two for two with our kid and camp. We then went back to the room for another family night as the rain kept people away from the deck activities. Wonderful.
Chen Rio Beach
Yellow Crab
Monster Fish
